
I was just talking to my good friend Google Analytics and she said that we get heaps of people reading our blog from America! The amount of American readers is second only to New Zealand, and they are catching up quick. For every two and a half New Zealanders reading there's one American. We are totally going to get famous. TIME TO GO TO HOLYWOOD YOU GUYS.
For our good buddies in America who don't know much about good old New Zealand, here are some fun facts:- Our national animal is the kiwi. The kiwi is a large flightless bird which can be trained to be ridden like a horse, especially if you are in Patea Maori Club (our national rugby team). A kiwi is to an ostrich what a gorilla is to a chimp. Kiwis are huge, fearless, badass birds.
This picture is called "Kiwi ridden by rugby player with Lizard bros"
This picture is called "LOLZ YOU GONNA GET EATEN BY A KIWI LOLZ"- We are only a short drive from Australia. There is a bridge from Hamilton in Australia, to Hamilton in New Zealand. This is how Shorty K got to New Zealand! It takes two hours and 15 minutes to drive across the bridge, (Kelvin walked so it took him a bit longer) but it can be tricky as we drive on the opposite side of the road from the Aussies so you have to switch sides when you get to the middle. Sometimes this causes accidents and cars fall into the sea and get eaten by a shark but other times it's totally ok.
This picture is called "other times it's totally ok"- We have giant cockroaches in New Zealand! They considered a delicacy and are extra delicious. Unlike the cockroaches overseas ours are deadly poisonous and must be prepared very carefully by a professional Cockroacher beforehand. Especially good with raw egg and Kumara (a type of New Zealand Strawberry)
- Our king is named Simon Barnett and he is a bit of a douche. He's pretty harmless, but he swans around in little more than a robe and an erection and often rides his bicycle indoors which really annoys shopkeepers and ushers at the theatre. He sometimes dances with the stars but they don't like it one bit.
























